The most powerful tool we have against internet dating scammers is to be knowledgeable about the things they do to lure women and men in. It does not mean that it is not safe to internet date, it means you should be aware and share what you are doing with friends. Most women would not go to clubs or places on their own, or leave their drinks at the bar without keeping a watch on them.
It is the same for meeting on the internet.

The fear that so many people have over the safety of this form of dating is very interesting. Nearly every woman or man I have spoken to over 70 believes it is very dangerous and you should not engage in it.
This is a fear created by the media, sometimes not even founded in truth.
Please read the site I have attached below, so that you will have an awareness and can shove these scammers aside on your journey to meet the person you really deserve.

http://www.accc.gov.au/consumers/consumer-protection/protecting-yourself-from-scams/scam-disruption-project

GET THAT COMPUTER READY GIRLS

If you are a friend of somebody reading this, and you are trying to talk them out of attempting internet dating. Please go join a charity and do good elsewhere. Advice from friends is always well-meant, they do not want see any harm come to you. They have probably seen you through the tough times in the past. Some will encourage you to go ahead and “just do it,” others will give you varying responses and advice. Depending on the friends you may get a lot of different advice

• “Why the hell aren’t you out there dating someone” oh this is the person who can only survive in a relationship and feels uncomfortable having you at a dinner party as a single person. It is unseemly to have odd numbers after all.
• “Goodness me, with your record! Should you really try again?” Oh Yes I know this one well, usually older than you, married to a less than awesome husband and likes to tear arms off little children. Whether you try again or not is your choice, not the choice of a well-meaning friend. I do believe you should wait till you are ready and think about some of the issues I talk about in chapter three.
• “Oh what are we going to do with the poor single girl,” Poor me! That is because you got out of an abusive relationship before it destroyed you, or left a cheating husband, or just were not happy and wanted better. Oh yes, POOR ME Of course you now have a collection of cats or dogs retrieved from animal shelters that have taken over your house leaving no possible room in your bed for a man.
• “I would not bother looking for anyone else. I would enjoy the freedom if I was single again or my husband passed,” Yes freedom is a wonderful thing and yes you can also have freedom in a good relationship. I am not talking about freedom to be with other partners, but freedom to have friends, hobbies, beliefs whilst still having the company of that special person. Only those who are sitting comfortably in their lovely homes with their families believe sitting at home with a bucket of ice-cream and a bag of potato chips on a Saturday night is more fun than having a partner to share life with. Not wanting to knock you girls who prefer to be alone all the times, but I am not sure if you would be reading this, if being alone is what you really wanted. Remember you started reading the Blog.
• “Aren’t you getting too old to look now,” I love this one as I just married a couple in their 80’s. I asked the bride what prompted her to marry again at her age? Well she said,” I was planning to move back to Sydney to look after my grandchildren. My daughter was adamant that I move down so she could care for me. But I really love the coast, and came to love Tom’s company. We go to bowls together, and love each other’s company. Besides, in life you can sit at the table for dinner alone or choose to sit and share with someone else. I choose the latter.” I thought this was a true statement….
• “Don’t do it is dangerous, I have heard about so many scams on the news.” The people who sling around these statements are often the cause that of people not revealing that they are internet dating. Not revealing what you are doing or who you might be speaking too does not give you a great starting point for safety. When your mum and dad went to dances and places to meet, nightclubs etc. They probably did not know the people whom they were meeting either. But because they were in groups it was much safer. Openly being able to share with girlfriends some of the things that might confuse you is a great way to stay safe. Give them this blog and tell them you need their lifetime knowledge as assistance. Get them to help you with your profile. Sometimes it is a friend’s idea of you that stands out more than what we think of yourself. If that guy is starting to talk about or ask about things you are uncomfortable with, ask your friend’s opinion. Remember we discuss the internet safety of our children and then often don’t follow through to look after ourselves.

“I would just wait till I meet someone the normal way,” OH YES, There is a great chance of you meeting someone on the bus or the train, at a nightclub, at your friends couples parties etc. Friends are probably always setting you up on blind dates after all. Life is a smorgasbord of delectable choices, just waiting to appear. FACE IT, you would not be reading this blog if there was a huge number of prospects lining up to meet you. I work as a celebrant, “Can you see the issue here for meeting men?” In most cases the ones I meet were already marrying someone else, even on occasion when I wondered where they had been my whole life. (Just kidding, but seriously who could have been George Clooney’s celebrant and not thought that? ) OK still out of the question, let’s say. I don’t drink a lot, so nightclubbing and bars are not a great place to go and relax and be myself. I have no need to travel on the bus, or train. I tried joining a Salsa class once for both fitness and thinking it would be a place to meet people in general. I have an extra five girlfriends now and we spend a lot of time reminiscing over that group of suave guys with their slicked back hair who are there primarily to show off their Salsa skills and pick up chicks. There is usually a three to one ratio of women to men. Any clubs you can join can also help you meet men, but knitters clubs and crochet clubs are not best for that. The most you can hope for is one of them saying their son or grandson would be just perfect for you. He has not left the couch in 10 years and still lives with his mother. I also had a daughter at home  and you may have children still in the nest and time is not easy to come by. Sitting at home looking at reading on the net was both safer and easier for a single mother to search anyhow. Men will state if they mind children or even already have children. This can also make a difference to your choices. I don’t think many people walk up to a stranger in a bar and say, “So I would like children in the future, How about you?” Of course when it comes to meeting that person there are important safety things any mother or parent needs to consider and I will also talk about that later.

What is around the corner for all of us could be amazing !

You’ve started reading this blog because you’ve either been thinking of internet dating, are already internet dating and need some really great tips, or perhaps you thought internet dating is not for you, and would like to see how other girls find their guy. I hope I can convince you to re-consider.

Let’s face it, we are so busy these days. If you have found yourself single after a long relationship, what’s the chances of finding that guy at a party, at work or walking down the street? More importantly, it’s apparently illegal to drag one off the street to your cave, just because he happens to be really hot!

If you’re the friend or family member of an internet dater and they have sent this blog to you, please, stop making them feel inadequate for trying. This is the way of the future and with care, you can avoid the so- called ‘psycho’s’ out there, so please, leave your negative thoughts at the door.

Firstly who am I and what knowledge do I have of internet dating?

Well, I have been single on and off for nearly ten years and in that time, chose internet dating to meet men, and have been happily in a relationship now for over two years.
Ask him, I am sure he will agree! I can see him nodding in agreement as I read him this section, probably wondering what the hell I am up to now!
Well he did choose a creative type who could amuse herself!

I plan to do a lot of research with girlfriends, mainly over a glass of wine or coffee in our favourite cafe, or perhaps some chocolate or other temptation to coax the stories out of those less willing. I am not a psychologist nor a professional writer so please forgive some of my grammar.
The important thing is I have done it, read about it, researched with many people who has used internet dating and, most importantly, I am a woman of the age group in question. My team of experts will vouch for that!

I am also a marriage celebrant, so I truly have a vested interested in making sure you girls out there find that man, (details at the back of the blog!) Happy for you to take me to Thailand or Bali for that special ceremony, of course legals done here. I have my passport ready, bag packed in anticipation. Special discount if you can produce this blog. http://www.ceremoniesbycelebrant.com

See, I already have faith you will find that guy!

But to be honest, I really want women to stop being afraid of internet dating, especially you more mature girls out there like myself who would really like a man to hang out with.

I want to debunk the thought that all men on these sites are just predators looking to steal your fortune, assuming you have one, in which case I’d probably suggest living in the south of France getting a lovely poodle and forgetting about the guys! A chocolate shop like the one in the movie, “Chocolat” and a small fortune would give you heaps of time to wait for Johnny Depp to arrive on his boat!
If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend getting the movie out before dating, just to get some tips on a great seductive look.

There are predators out there, so it’s important to also talk about the dangers and how to see through their internet charm.There’s the married man who’ll break your heart, and some others who just shouldn’t be on these sites . If you are a woman whose mission it is to defraud a man, please do not disclose to the police that you read my blog or I ever gave you any advice. This is for those serious about dating…. Ok legal disclosure out of the way.

Men are great and they also get lonely. Some are nicer than others and some we should just steer clear of. Lets also remember that we’re all different and looking for different things. Even though you might like that 6 inch pair of diamond encrusted stilettos, there is no way in the world I would swap them for my Red Back welding boots. No, I am not butch! Just an artist who loves to get dirty. (Bet your dirty mind was wondering where I was going with the six inches!?)

The most important thing is to first establish in your own mind what it is that you really want?

Have you left the past behind and are you really ready to date at all?

These questions are about you first so I want you to go back and look at them every time you make a choice to date someone. It’s critical that you don’t drop your own goals in life. This won’t bring you happiness in the future and it’s not a man’s fault if he cannot provide you with your list. Yes ladies, we have to be responsible for our own happiness first and be a little selfish about what we want. This way we’re providing our new man with a woman who knows herself and will not be attacking his masculinity because he does not provide us with our perfect dream life.
So get a journal out and start writing. As a celebrant I have seen many brides who have been keeping a folder of Wedding options since they were in their teen. Sadly most people do not keep a journal of what they actually want in that groom….

Write a list-

• Are you ready to date? I can honestly say the first time I went on internet dating sites I probably wasn’t truly ready, having been 10 months out of a long term relationship, in my early 40s and feeling like the world had let me I met some men in that time that could fall into the category of the dishonest type, however I also made some good friends and learned a lot about myself and men in general. I don’t want to lecture you about when you should start dating but I am interested in why you want to.
• There is a very special ceremony that I like to call a moving on I have created this for people who are divorced, in the process of divorcing or coming out of a long term relationship.
  You can do it with a group of friends or on your own. You can create a journal that deals with each step. https://misslucysnakedtruth.com/losing-the-baggage/
• What are my best features? Come on be honest, if I met you on the street and we started chatting what would I like best about you? Get your friends to help you with this. (More about this in profile creating)
  When your ex told you that you were an opinionated bitch, what did that really mean?
• Look harder into your needs. The caveman had to impress the cave woman with his skills in hunting before she allowed him in the cave.
• What do I hope for in life? Now we all want the castle on the hill, but what would we be happy Personally, I need to have a space for art and time to create it. I can’t do the clingy, spend all your time with me kind of guy. I need my girlfriends and quite frankly I reckon shopping and doing markets with the girls is far more fun than dragging that man around who is yawning in the background! I discovered from my research that guys who like to come to the markets are usually the same guys who are avoiding the mowing or those tasks you asked him to do around the house. Just a personal observation, but it is lovely to come home to acres of freshly mowed lawn after coffee with the girls. Please, I am not saying you should expect him to stay home and do chores whilst you are a lady of leisure. I do my share too so he can have boy time.
• What must I do in life whether with a partner or not? (I love travel and one of the first things I said to my partner is “I am going to travel, happy for you to come along, but I won’t whine about it if you don’t!” I’m planning to go to Avalon to make a sword whilst he fixes his 1965 Holden Win, win!
• If you have things that are incredibly important to your bucket list, start achieving them It could take a while to find a man and it’s likely he may not have the same bucket list as you. This is common and we need to be responsible for our list, not his.
• Do I want children-more children? Please be honest about this as it can be the biggest deal breaker in a If you want more kids, don’t choose the guy who says he doesn’t more children. Sorry ladies ,that stuff comes down to core values. He is not going to wake up one day and suddenly be happy that you’re pregnant. He may look beautiful, seem amazing, but he is not for you.
  Same goes if you don’t want any more children and you choose a man who wants more. Don’t fall under that, “he loves me so much illusion”, that he will be happy when he finds out you lied about wanting children and finds your pill hidden under the bathroom sink. If however you discover you both are open to children, there’s no need to go full speed into producing these little offspring at the first coffee date. Please wait awhile.
• Do you think your happiness would be enhanced by a partner, or are you pretty happy in most circumstances? I don’t believe my happiness is determined by a partner, but it can certainly be enhanced by spending time with someone you I also don’t think that someone else can solely be the cause of my unhappiness. Difficult as it is at times, we often have to walk away. Everyone’s journey is unique to themselves and I make no judgement on people choices. I once had a relationship where, in his mind I was the source of his happiness. Why anyone would think that of me, I have no idea?
  But it was completely exhausting and made it hard to be me or to live a normal life. Some days I get so confused by what I plan to do next, that I forget what I went into the next room for, let alone remembering to keep making someone else happy.
• What’s your perfect day together? What do you really like to do if you have a day off? If you say you like footy to impress a guy, be prepared to spend endless hours doing You’ll read so many profiles of people who are in their 50’s who say they want to travel and go to the markets and garden. I have met some of these, they have never left Brisbane, have only lived in a unit and don’t get up early enough after watching TV all night to ever get to the markets! Be realistic, talk about those goals you really have and the things you would like to continue doing. Plan the holiday before you have the man. Be a doer not a gonner. Don’t put your life on hold whilst searching. You will be far more interesting if you are busy.
• Do I try to change a partner’s beliefs or life? Have I in the past changed mine to suit another
  Men do not change ladies, you might think that they can change or that you can train them but that would take a lot of sweet treats or sex or all of the above and at any point of time he could revert back to his ways, usually whilst consuming alcohol.
  Choose one that is close to perfect. The most you can do is educate a partner. If he never had to pick up his clothes and put them in the laundry basket, he can learn that, however if you want him to stop watching footy because you don’t like it then, good luck!. Nobody is actually perfect, except maybe Johnny Depp, and I get first dib’s, AGREED. If he whinges constantly about his ex and how horrible she is, he is still way too fixated in the past.
• Are you happy to live with somebody who keeps moving for work? Does your work require you to move? Could you really fit into a remote or distance Can you afford the petrol, flights etc. Prince charming might live in a magnificent castle in another state.
  How much of your time and energy are you willing to spare flying that magic carpet to his place.
  Except of course if you have a Star gate, then prince charming sounds divine to me.
• What is your picture of a perfect man?
  Our prince will not always arrive dressed in white satin atop a white horse brandishing a sword dressed ready to scoop us up with his muscular arms! Oh my gosh, I am really starting to visualise this, he looks just like Fabio!
  Sorry, I have a very vivid imagination- back to the point. What do you like in a man? Men, like women, can fall into many categories, so best to define one before you start. I like a man who is good with tools and can fix things, a strong manly type. I am not really excited by the guy who can’t change the tyre on his car. I will never date a musician again, as I learnt that they play beautiful music but need far too much attention, especially ageing ones. I simply do not understand the man who does not get the mower out to make the garden beautiful for his princess, (That’s me of course!)
  You might be reading now and thinking how she can make such presumptions about men and their traits? I agree, I could be wrong, probably often am, but why head down a track that turned out to have huge weeds just on the off chance that it might be ok now? Look harder into your needs. The caveman had to impress the cave woman with his skills in hunting before she allowed him in the cave. I am just saying, be realistic, don’t find him then try to make him like what you like. If you’re all OCD about cleaning and your house must be perfect at all times, you may need to look for someone who fits that bill. It’s not nice living in an environment where you are either always cleaning their mess up, or someone is always putting everything you own away.
  Looks can be important but there are many other qualities that are far more important in a relationship. I am sure as beautiful as Johnny Depp is, if he kept putting away my craft stuff, I would eventually have to kill him!
• Lastly how much baggage are you carrying and are you ready to tackle a relationship.You might think that cuddling up to that hunk will make all sad past relationships go away.I suggest you make a list of the things that really upset you in a past relationship. When something happens and you get upset about your new guy, check that list and see if you are reacting to him or to that creepy troll you used to date. (Note: I don’t think that if a relationship didn’t work it means anyone is really bad. Most people are just acting out bad stuff they have experienced. We just have to choose when that bad stuff has impacted us too much and yes, a girlfriend on the side or abuse is really bad stuff. Sorry if anyone has experienced this)But when you start checking up on him, just because your ex cheated, in his eyes you are becoming a stalker.
  I know it is always hard to get rid of those bags we have collected, but knowing what is in each one is really important to success.
• Lastly !!! If you go for the same kind of man as the previous one again, there is always a good chance that it may turn out the same way. So, define what you are looking for before you start.

Copyright Lucille van Ligten 2015